A mind of Metal
In several years now I have been under an incredibly heavy deppression which pretty much only seems to become worse and worse each year. I mostly have the problem that I can not feel anything happiness at all. Simply just sadness and hate. I feel pretty much dead inside and…I am always looking for å reason Why I should live.
Then well I can say that Metal is å huge part of my life. Because well…in some way it makes me feel allitle less alone. And many times it fels like the bånd is singing just for me. Like..They feel exactly the same way. So well it gives me this slight feeling of happiness and some wierd feeling that I am alive.
People dont always think boys has these kind of dead feelings, like bad self esteem and suicidal thoughts. But Yes I do. But I still live with the hope that some day my deppression will go away, and I’l be able to feel like I used to 3 years ago. 8)
So now..my best bro is leaving for the Army after the summer. Which means this might get really really lonely unless I figure something out. So well :3 I just had this feeling that I wanted this of my chest.